Ellie

I’m sitting propped up against some pillows on the hospital bed, reading a book when the bright blue balloon floats in. I can’t see it clearly, since I’m only wearing reading glasses, but I can tell from the moment it comes in that the words “Spirit of Adventure” are written in cursive on the side in black sharpie. It’s been so many years since I’ve seen a balloon like that; and last time, I was on the sending end. In that split second, a wave of childhood memories washes over me. The first day we met, and the subsequent trip to the hospital. The moment I walked into class on the first day of school and noticed him sitting in the front of the classroom. The time we spent an entire day reading about South Africa in the library, getting there right when the library opened and grumbling when the librarian told us we had to go home. South Africa had always been important to us; the first thing that brought us together. There were other things, of course, but Paradise Falls was that one dream that both of us held most dear. As we grew older, I began to recognize the possibility that that particular dream might not come true. In Carl, however, the dream seemed to always be growing. That day I came back from the doctor, he looked so exuberant; I wish I had let him talk first. But after I told him the prognosis, his expression grew solemn and he refused to tell me his news. I still wonder what he had to say…

Carl walks in after the balloon holding something brown. He gives me a kiss and lays the brown object next to me. It’s my old Adventure Book! The little photo album – scrap book that I had used to document my dreams, until my real one walked in on me that beautiful day. I try to say “thank you,” to my dear Carl, but it comes out as a hoarse whisper. I give a little smile instead. We stay like that for a while, each enjoying the other’s company.

“I’m sorry, Ellie,” he whispers finally. “I crossed my heart, but I didn’t keep the promise. The biggest promise.” He looks straight at me, tears forming in his eyes. I put my hand on his, trying to comfort.

“I’ve already gotten my dream,” I want to say, but the nurse comes bustling in, and tells Carl his visiting time is over.  Looking at the album in my hands, I have an idea. I motion to the nurse.

“Could you bring me my purse? There are some photos I’d like to add to this album,” I say to her. The nurse helps me put the pictures in. Before she give me my medicine, I write Carl a note.

“Thanks for the adventure. Now go have a new one. Love, Ellie.”

I want him to understand. I need him to understand – with him, I was living right next to Paradise Falls all along.